This is the year of big decisions. Do I stay or do I go? Do I really want to spend an Alaska winter by myself? I've done one year in North Carolina by myself and it was hard. I worked full time and went to school. I kept myself busy. I don't know if I will work this year or if I want to work here in Alaska. What is there to do here in Fairbanks for Grayson? Do I want to keep him inside for half the year? Gabe and I are such outdoorsy people and we want Grayson to enjoy the outdoors too. Alaska offers so much to do outside but only for older people. Grayson cant go on hikes when it is below zero. Buddy cant go out either and I am too much of a scaredy(I don't know if this is even a real word) pants to walk in the woods of Alaska by myself. What to do? I guess I will pray and talk to family and friends and make my decision then.
I have also made the decision to be more positive this year. Having Grayson so far from family and being in the cold and dark winter have made me a little depressed so I have decided to concentrate on just the positives. I am a healthy woman with a healthy happy baby boy and a little dog who loves me. I am married to The greatest man on earth and am surrounded by great friends and have a wonderful family back in Mississippi, Tennessee, Texas and Oklahoma. Life is good right now.
Grayson and I register for swimming classes this afternoon. I am really excited about that. We will go two days a week all of February and half of March. Gabe is taking a week off in March and will be able to go to a couple of classes. Wohoo!! i don't think Gabe and Grayson can spend too much time together right now. I really hope Grayson likes the water as much as we do. We will see.
I have to go now. I think Grayson is ready to take a nap.
I hope y'all have a good, make that GREAT, weekend!
The basis of your decision should be directly related to the support system you have here.
ReplyDeleteMy husband was deployed in 05-06 (he's retired now) but I didn't have any children at home. What I did have was the most awesome small group of friends (There were three of us) who also did not have children at home. We were truly alone for that deployment. We set up a routine that we stuck to. Every Sunday morning we went to breakfast together. Every Friday night, we had "Chick Flick Night" where we'd gather at one of our homes with movies, snack food, and an easy dinner. Two of us didn't work outside the home, so we went walking nearly every morning (with our dogs) when weather permitted. We ran errands together, shopped together, but most of all we were only a phone call - and a short walk - away (we all lived on post in the same neighborhood)
It CAN be done - with a good support system. Now is the time to gather other friends with children, and discuss group activities and make suggestions on how to best spend your time.
I had several friends who were young moms with babies/toddlers and they also formed their own little group. They set up once a week play dates. They babysat for each other so that they could go grocery shopping and run errands without having to take the baby/kids along. But it has to literally be planned, or it won't work. Especially in the winter, when we all tend to become a little down or unmotivated.
Are you on Facebook? If so, I saw a group called Fort Wainwright Wives and Mothers (http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=165801896768950) that looks like it might be a good resource for play dates, making new friends, etc. Also, FtWW had some good programs implemented during the deployments for family members.
Other moms I knew flew home for extended Christmas visits, and had family come up during the summer months for visits. This breaks up the deployment well too.
As for going home? I did have friends who went home because they wanted the support of their family. There's nothing wrong with that either. But being away from post, means you're away from your peers who are also going through the deployment. Sometimes it's hard for family members to relate to a deployment as well as your friends who are also going through it. And sometimes you just want to hang out with friends who are feeling exactly as you are.
On the other hand, if you go home perhaps your soldier will feel better about leaving you in *good hands* and that will alleviate his stress and worry. There are so many ways to look at the situation.
Good luck with whatever you decide. Only you know what would be best for you and your family!
Susan in North Pole
I have a really great support system here. I've met some really good people I could rely on but I also want our families to have time with Grayson. They missed the pregnancy and will miss most of his first year. There are pros and cons for staying or going and we will have to pray and talk i over. Thanks for helping. It's always nice to get a perspective from someone who has been through it.
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